deepest confession

Maybe writing this is going against all I stand for. Maybe spilling this out for you to read is crushing all walls I built to stay hidden. Maybe this confession crumbles down my ego and pride. 

I was once heartless, loving never with my fullest honesty and loyalty. 

I was a soul masked with pride and ego. 

I was colored with joy while darkness lurking in me. 

I was never sure of anything, doubt conquer every corner of my heart. 

I saw the best of someone but always assumed the worst of oneself. 

I wore a broken smile sealed with faux excitements.

My ambiance was nothing but emptiness and temporary beauty. 

My outer laughter can never reach my inner core. 

I was indeed damsel in distress. 

I knew why love never work for me before, it's because..

I'm just not whole, I'm filled with cracks and scars. 

In fact, I never believe in happy ever after.

I never feel it existed in the world I'm living in. 

 Strong, that's the exact emotion I felt upon gazing my eyes on you. A mere stranger with such distinct appearance. Maybe it was your buff frame or it is that dark skin tone you've rose my attention. But it was the unseen that caught my emotion, the connection or most people would called it chemistry. It's like your presence flows directly in me. Ever since that, I never stop to pursuit that comfort you brought to me. I'm covered with layers of ego and my pride is enormously high. I never admitted even once how significant you're in my life, not even after we're more than friends. The thing is with a person who never give up it's you keep trying and trying. That's when I realized, you're really a piece of stubborn art. My very own stubborn art. Someone that I finally believe, you're mine for sure. Doubts linger as I can't grasp the future, but I rest assured on your unconditional love. No matter what happen with odds that are coming for us and how I will never repeat myself again or how I will be the most annoying person and with my ego keep talking on my behalf every now and then, I want you to know what my heart really holds for you, 

Amashah Kamaruddin, you're irreplaceable in my heart. Tears fall at the slightest idea of losing you. There will always be an empty hole without you in my life. 

A piece of puzzle missing that only fits perfectly by you.